Let God's Love Illuminate Your Closet
Here is the post. The post where I spill the beans so to speak and get to the heart of being brave about God and diapers. I think it is obvious by my writings that I am obsessed about them. Something to note is that in real life I also am full of fear. Fear is only a good thing when it is a fear of God. All other fear is not needed.
For the past 4 weeks I have been doing what we in the ABDL community call "24/7" which means I always wear diapers. To bed, to work, to church and hanging around my friends. It is now a legitimate lifestyle. I think God has really lead me into this state to teach me a lesson or to get me out of my repressive shell. I also recently went on a business trip to Prague. I posted the following post of my adventures:
I've been 24/7 for four weeks straight so far and am still loving it. The only part I feel uncomfortable about is changing my diaper at work. Lately I've been wearing abena at work and haven't been changing for over 10 hours. I know I need to get past this, just because 10 hours in a wet diaper is bound to give me a rash. The technique I use:
1. Abena - really does hold 10 hours of pee
2. Diaper elastic - basically go to walmart and get those strips of elastic from the fabric section and get some diaper pins. I created 2 belts that are very tight and are held together with the diaper pins. I don't even have to undo the pins, because they are elastic I can pull the 2 belts on over the diaper tapes - Thus their tightness will hold the diaper together even if the tapes fail(abenas tapes sometimes do). When I change I pull the belts up to my chest so they are out of the way.
3. Plastic pants - makes the diaper produce no noise whatsoever and helps prevent leaks
4. Onesie - holds the diaper up, also prevents the diaper from sticking out of the top of my pants. I think a coworker might've got a good look one time when I wasn't wearing a onesie(hasn't said anything)
5. Long untucked shirts - they hide leaks if they occur (hasn't happened yet)
6. Dark jeans or Dockers stain proof - hides leaks if they occur
The only problem is that plastic pants over diapers can cause a rash. The only way to prevent it is to change every 5 hours instead of 10. And that is why I need to accept that I might get noticed when I bring a gym bag to my cube and the bathroom. I don't poo either, I choose to do it whenever I change my diaper. However I think as a result I've become a little constipated, but that's another story.
After I worked out all of the logistics I can say that wearing all of the time definitely has its advantages. For me, it just feels like I should have been doing this all along. They are just a different type of underwear and they feel oh so comfortable. For the longest time (24 years) I desired to be normal so much that I hid everything. I even had low self esteem for fear of discovery. When I finally truly accepted who I was I was able to quit wearing underwear and wear diapers whenever I wanted. I should've done this years ago. My thoughts are either I will accept it as my lifestyle or I will get sick of it and quit altogether. Right now complete acceptance seems to be the way to go. I recommend trying 24/7 for those of you struggling with personal acceptance. I've tried many techniques of 24/7 as well:
1. Just peeing all of the time in them
2. Going to the potty as well (didn't like that)
3. Hiding my diapers in my car and going to get them and finding a bathroom away from work to change(too much work)
I've been all over in diapers now. I went to Prague a couple of weeks ago and had to change on the airplane. That was the biggest hurdle for me. Standing up, pulling out my overhead bag and pulling out a fresh diaper and baby powder. I did it and went into the bathroom and changed. The bathroom was in the middle of the plane so there were about 100 people looking at me as I was trying to figure out how to open the bathroom door. I put the wet one in the trash in the bathroom. Basically I was scared soo much before I did it. I had to psych myself up to do it. I told myself over and over things like "They already know, they already know" and "you don't know them anyways" and "They'll feel sorry for you instead of make fun of you." and "If you don't change you will be in physical pain from a rash." That was when my diaper started feeling so uncomfortable I got up and did it.
That week I even went into pharmacies and tried to buy diapers. Apparently people in Prague don't wear diapers. Finally I went to the counter, took out the side of my diaper from the pants and pointed at it to show the lady what I wanted. She was nice enough to get me some tenas and put it in a clear bag and put newspapers around it so I wouldn't be embarassed as I went back to the hotel on the trams. I walked all throughout Prague with a case of diapers and it was very liberating. In the end I realized that I could not help enjoying diapers and I should not stop. It makes no difference to most people anyways. I am the one wearing diapers not them. They might laugh but I must accept the good with the bad. So far, so good. So now you get an idea of what I have been going through. Just this morning God gave me some scripture to ponder about being brave:
Jeremiah 20:9
But if I say, “I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,”
his word is in my heart like a burning fire, shut up in my bones,
I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.
You see what He is telling me. I can no longer hold who I really am inside. God and Diapers are in my heart like a burning fire. I have accepted Jesus has my Lord and Savior and I have accepted diapers as a lifestyle. I can no longer hold any of it in. It is time to stop being so afraid. I must say to myself the following "mantras" so to speak. The things which I repeat over and over will serve to psych me up so that I will be prepared for any persecution to come my way.
"I am a Christian. I must not fear condemnation from others"
"I must not fear what others think of me."
"I must not fear changing in the restroom or noises the changing makes."
"I will die a Christian who wears diapers."
"If people ask me about what's in my bag it is none of their business."
"If they straight out ask me if I wear diapers it is none of their business."
"If people hear me change or see me leak than that is life and I must not be afraid."
"I can no longer hide the fact that I wear diapers and am a Christian."
"If my family doesn't accept me then that is their problem and not mine."
"If I lose friends then they were never friends to begin with."
"They Already Know or suspect."
"I cannot be caught as I am doing nothing wrong. All I can be is noticed."
"As long as I am true to myself and true to God all other judgement is not valid."
The world is full of different people trying to find happiness in their own way or the same way as their parents and friends. We all have to live together. But we also have to be happy in doing so. I have built diapers up in my mind way too much and have lived in fear. Secrets are not good. The light of God shines through the darkness and exposes them. Since I am doing nothing wrong it is time to let God's light shine. The devil has lead me to darkness and separated me from God. I no longer desire for that to be. I know I will be persecuted, but at least I will be myself. See I should not fear the light. If I fear the light then I live in darkness. Is your diaper wearing a secret? Do you know that that secret is in darkness and Satan will bind you to it. You don't have to go on like this. Let God's light shine in all areas of your life, pray for guidance and He will lead you on the right path.
Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?
John 3:20
For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
Mathew 10:26-28
"Therefore do not fear them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. 27 "What I tell you in the darkness, speak in the light; and what you hear whispered in your ear, proclaim upon the housetops. 28 "Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.
1 Corinthians 4:5
Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts; and then each man's praise will come to him from God.
Psalm 112:4
4 Light arises in the darkness for the upright; He is gracious and compassionate and righteous.
For the past 4 weeks I have been doing what we in the ABDL community call "24/7" which means I always wear diapers. To bed, to work, to church and hanging around my friends. It is now a legitimate lifestyle. I think God has really lead me into this state to teach me a lesson or to get me out of my repressive shell. I also recently went on a business trip to Prague. I posted the following post of my adventures:
I've been 24/7 for four weeks straight so far and am still loving it. The only part I feel uncomfortable about is changing my diaper at work. Lately I've been wearing abena at work and haven't been changing for over 10 hours. I know I need to get past this, just because 10 hours in a wet diaper is bound to give me a rash. The technique I use:
1. Abena - really does hold 10 hours of pee
2. Diaper elastic - basically go to walmart and get those strips of elastic from the fabric section and get some diaper pins. I created 2 belts that are very tight and are held together with the diaper pins. I don't even have to undo the pins, because they are elastic I can pull the 2 belts on over the diaper tapes - Thus their tightness will hold the diaper together even if the tapes fail(abenas tapes sometimes do). When I change I pull the belts up to my chest so they are out of the way.
3. Plastic pants - makes the diaper produce no noise whatsoever and helps prevent leaks
4. Onesie - holds the diaper up, also prevents the diaper from sticking out of the top of my pants. I think a coworker might've got a good look one time when I wasn't wearing a onesie(hasn't said anything)
5. Long untucked shirts - they hide leaks if they occur (hasn't happened yet)
6. Dark jeans or Dockers stain proof - hides leaks if they occur
The only problem is that plastic pants over diapers can cause a rash. The only way to prevent it is to change every 5 hours instead of 10. And that is why I need to accept that I might get noticed when I bring a gym bag to my cube and the bathroom. I don't poo either, I choose to do it whenever I change my diaper. However I think as a result I've become a little constipated, but that's another story.
After I worked out all of the logistics I can say that wearing all of the time definitely has its advantages. For me, it just feels like I should have been doing this all along. They are just a different type of underwear and they feel oh so comfortable. For the longest time (24 years) I desired to be normal so much that I hid everything. I even had low self esteem for fear of discovery. When I finally truly accepted who I was I was able to quit wearing underwear and wear diapers whenever I wanted. I should've done this years ago. My thoughts are either I will accept it as my lifestyle or I will get sick of it and quit altogether. Right now complete acceptance seems to be the way to go. I recommend trying 24/7 for those of you struggling with personal acceptance. I've tried many techniques of 24/7 as well:
1. Just peeing all of the time in them
2. Going to the potty as well (didn't like that)
3. Hiding my diapers in my car and going to get them and finding a bathroom away from work to change(too much work)
I've been all over in diapers now. I went to Prague a couple of weeks ago and had to change on the airplane. That was the biggest hurdle for me. Standing up, pulling out my overhead bag and pulling out a fresh diaper and baby powder. I did it and went into the bathroom and changed. The bathroom was in the middle of the plane so there were about 100 people looking at me as I was trying to figure out how to open the bathroom door. I put the wet one in the trash in the bathroom. Basically I was scared soo much before I did it. I had to psych myself up to do it. I told myself over and over things like "They already know, they already know" and "you don't know them anyways" and "They'll feel sorry for you instead of make fun of you." and "If you don't change you will be in physical pain from a rash." That was when my diaper started feeling so uncomfortable I got up and did it.
That week I even went into pharmacies and tried to buy diapers. Apparently people in Prague don't wear diapers. Finally I went to the counter, took out the side of my diaper from the pants and pointed at it to show the lady what I wanted. She was nice enough to get me some tenas and put it in a clear bag and put newspapers around it so I wouldn't be embarassed as I went back to the hotel on the trams. I walked all throughout Prague with a case of diapers and it was very liberating. In the end I realized that I could not help enjoying diapers and I should not stop. It makes no difference to most people anyways. I am the one wearing diapers not them. They might laugh but I must accept the good with the bad. So far, so good. So now you get an idea of what I have been going through. Just this morning God gave me some scripture to ponder about being brave:
Jeremiah 20:9
But if I say, “I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,”
his word is in my heart like a burning fire, shut up in my bones,
I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.
You see what He is telling me. I can no longer hold who I really am inside. God and Diapers are in my heart like a burning fire. I have accepted Jesus has my Lord and Savior and I have accepted diapers as a lifestyle. I can no longer hold any of it in. It is time to stop being so afraid. I must say to myself the following "mantras" so to speak. The things which I repeat over and over will serve to psych me up so that I will be prepared for any persecution to come my way.
"I am a Christian. I must not fear condemnation from others"
"I must not fear what others think of me."
"I must not fear changing in the restroom or noises the changing makes."
"I will die a Christian who wears diapers."
"If people ask me about what's in my bag it is none of their business."
"If they straight out ask me if I wear diapers it is none of their business."
"If people hear me change or see me leak than that is life and I must not be afraid."
"I can no longer hide the fact that I wear diapers and am a Christian."
"If my family doesn't accept me then that is their problem and not mine."
"If I lose friends then they were never friends to begin with."
"They Already Know or suspect."
"I cannot be caught as I am doing nothing wrong. All I can be is noticed."
"As long as I am true to myself and true to God all other judgement is not valid."
The world is full of different people trying to find happiness in their own way or the same way as their parents and friends. We all have to live together. But we also have to be happy in doing so. I have built diapers up in my mind way too much and have lived in fear. Secrets are not good. The light of God shines through the darkness and exposes them. Since I am doing nothing wrong it is time to let God's light shine. The devil has lead me to darkness and separated me from God. I no longer desire for that to be. I know I will be persecuted, but at least I will be myself. See I should not fear the light. If I fear the light then I live in darkness. Is your diaper wearing a secret? Do you know that that secret is in darkness and Satan will bind you to it. You don't have to go on like this. Let God's light shine in all areas of your life, pray for guidance and He will lead you on the right path.
Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?
John 3:20
For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
Mathew 10:26-28
"Therefore do not fear them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. 27 "What I tell you in the darkness, speak in the light; and what you hear whispered in your ear, proclaim upon the housetops. 28 "Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.
1 Corinthians 4:5
Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts; and then each man's praise will come to him from God.
Psalm 112:4
4 Light arises in the darkness for the upright; He is gracious and compassionate and righteous.
posted by Baby Brian | 11:13 PM
2 Comments:
"How are you doing now? Where you able to continue with telling friends and family? How did you do that?" Giga-kun.
Did you found other people to share your experience with?
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